As we continue to pack away Christmas, we can see Whilton Locks becoming MEGA, as we – Make Everything Gardening Again!
Folks, let us tell you, gardening is tremendous, it’s the best, nobody gardens better than Whilton Locks. We are like the Christopher Columbus of composting.
We’re gonna make gardens great again, believe us. We’re gonna have the best gardens, the most beautiful flowering displays, the biggest, most luscious tomatoes and hanging baskets you’ve ever seen, and they’re gonna be yuge, just yuge.
But here’s the thing, we’ve got too many weeds, and we mean too many. We need to build a wall around our gardens, a big beautiful wall, and the weeds, they’re gonna pay for it.
We’re gonna have the best compost, the richest, the most fertile, because we know compost, we have the best compost, nobody knows compost like us.
And the birds, they come to our gardens, they’ll love it, they tweet about it. We mean, they literally tweet, they’re singing, they’re happy, they’re saying “thank you, Whilton Locks, thank you for making our lives great again.”
Now, let’s talk about the bees, they’re incredible, they’re loyal, they work hard, just like our copywriting guy! They’re gonna pollinate like you’ve never seen before, because under our watch, every bee gets a chance to be great, to make gardens buzz again.
So, we’re gonna drain the swampy, soggy bits of the garden, get rid of those pesky bugs, and we’re gonna plant, plant, plant. We’re gonna plant so much you’re gonna get tired of planting, you’re gonna say, “Whilton Locks, we can’t plant anymore,” and we’ll say, “We’re sorry, we have to keep going, we need to have the best gardens because that’s what we do, we’re winners, we’re not used to losing, we’re used to winning, and that’s what we’re gonna do with gardening.”
At Whilton we are going to offer the best breakfasts, the most amazing afternoon tea, the tastiest treats and eats and fantastic food and coffee? The best coffee you have ever tasted with the best cake you have ever seen.
Let’s not forget our pets. Our lovely, loyal pets. Bruno’s is 40 this year. Forty fabulous years and we are gonna celebrate with a party with all your pets. It’s gonna be wonderful.
Wonderful Whilton itself is 21 this year. On the 28th February, 1st and 2nd March, we are gonna have a party and we’ll have cake and celebrations and all sorts of incredible things going on. Save the date folks, you wouldn’t want to miss out.
So don’t be a Sleepy Joe, let’s make gardening great again, with Whilton Locks Garden Village after all, we think we TRUMP all others.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless gardening.
Whilton Locks Garden Village
